Life of the Marginally Employed

(I started this blog with this post back in November, 2010. I am finishing it today, July 2, 2011. Very little editing or review. Just getting it out there and done.)

I envy those people who either had outstanding role models from which to perfect their future lives or had the tenacity and wherewithal to overcome tremendous childhood/teenagerdom adversity. As a professional tutor at a local university, one of the students with who I work had good role models and she is one of those people whom I envy.

She graduated in December and had a job lined up for her. In early November, she had to reschedule a session because she was closing on a house. At the wonderfully young age of 22, she was graduating fairly debt-free with a house to boot. So, of course I am jealous. I am more than twice her age (49) and not only have I never owned a house, I have enough student loan debt to prevent me from ever being able to do so. I am not single and care-free as her, either. I have been married for the same amount of time as she has been alive, we have three children - ages 21, 17 and 15- and I seem to have never been able to find permanent gainful employment.

The key word here is "gainful." I have held several jobs that were permanent and perfectly suited to my educational and professional background and experience. For example, my first job offer out of law school was for legal services. I worked as a temp, filling in for another attorney on leave for her pregnancy. I was pregnant, at the time, with my first so it was a perfect fit. Then the other attorney decided not to come back and I was offered her job. I truly wanted to take it (I loved the work) but the reality was that at $17,000 a year, I would probably be losing money because I would have to drive back and forth about an hour each way along with a new car payment, child care expenses, a rather large student loan repayment...I felt it would never work out. Or so I was advised. So, I did not accept it. I have regretted that decision ever since.

I look back and realize that even though this was 20 years ago, taking a job like that - one for a "measly" $17,000 would be a gift today. So, when I hear people complaining about their jobs, their boss, etc. I just want to smack them upside the head (figuratively) and tell them to be grateful they have a job at all.

A life of unfinished........

I started this blog MONTHS ago. I cannot recall the particular impetus that inspired me to start writing this (there are, after all, so very man of them) so here I am again, inspired by a dream (that made me realize that there are so many things in my life that I started with all good intentions but never finished). 


The formatting of this will be very basic and raw since I have never done this before but after that epiphany-filled somnambulistic experience, I should try again. I checked my Facebook this morning and came across another blog about the "The disease called 'Perfection'" and so here I go.


I'm posting this without (too much) editing, no re-writing or time because I want to finish something today.